Queer Magic: The chest of knowledge


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A queer Sri Vaishnava seeks the lamp of knowledge

My ability to pass as a straight woman grants me a different level of safety than those who are more visibly queer but can also be the means through which people erase parts of my identity. Where are you comfortable with people reaching you on social media? My instagram is gesiye and my website where I post my photography and video art is www.

My name is Tyler. Pronouns, he and him. I identify as queer. I would describe my style as mysterious. Not mysterious in terms of being confusing to others, although that very well may be the case. Rather, my style is mysterious to me. When I wear my kikoy I feel like I am on the coast of Kenya being enriched by the sun and bewitched by the aroma of spices. When I wear my Kenya bracelet, I feel connected to the growth and prosperity of home.

When I wear my traditional necklaces I feel the halo of my ancestors resting around my neck and upon my shoulders. When I wear my yellow bracelet, I feel connected to the dirt road near my home in Nairobi where I found it abandoned. As per my queer identity, my style is not regulated by arbitrary gender norms. If I want to wear short shorts and a dashiki then I do. I guess my queerness, in part, fuels my ability to transcend the expected.

And that is what I try to do with my style, transcend the expected and, in many ways, come home to myself. During a conversation about queerness, African ness , and identity a good friend of mine made a statement that has stuck with me ever since. He is also a queer East African man, a Black body, living in Canada.

He said that one difficulty in being a queer African man in the Canadian diaspora is that within our own African communities we are expected to be hyper feminine, as a consequence of our sexual orientation while within the Canadian queer scene we are expected to be hyper masculine as a result of our Blackness.

In many ways we are pushed out of both communities in unique and specific ways and pulled in in just as complex ways. For me, this is a source of power. When we are neither here nor there, we are free to carve out and customized space for ourselves through community, art, and self-exploration. It is at this crossroads that we make our home, and brick by brick it becomes ever more immaculate. Family is who you come home to.

Who you call in tears. Those who call you in tears. Those with whom sharing a simple look can substitute for a whole conversation. To me, family is not only nuclear, not even only genetic, but also includes those whose hearts have shared a kiss with our own. How was participating in the Limit less shoot? Glad I could be a part of the project.

What are you most excited about for Limit less? Being a part of the visibility of our people. Often, visibility is underplayed in terms of contributing to the empowerment of any marginalized group. I am excited for my narrative to resonate with folks who can not only understand my words, but also feel my story. And we are most definitely in. Suit pants with traditional tops and a head wrap. I really want to go home and a get bunch of suits and pieces made.

I really need to save for that, damn. My relationship with my family is just like many. We are dynamic, bold, and beautiful, and queer. Our Africanness is only stronger with this identity because everyday we breathe, especially for African trans folk, we are resisting and revolutionary. These are two identities that are extremely important, but they are always framed as antithesis to each other. I get to be a living example with many others that they go together perfectly.

My name is Bummah. I would describe my style as minimalist with a pop of color. I like very simple looks that work well with anything. However, I think the fact that I do try to play around with colors and some patterns is very african and queer. Beyond red, I love yellows, and greens, and blues. When I was a child I was ashamed of my African roots so I somewhat pushed myself away. I would get teased a lot by other kids growing up, because they could easily tell I was [because my] name was different.

I remember one instance at summer camp some friends had called my younger brother and I Timon and Pumbaa. Or one time I told a girl I was from Jamaica. My parents really did make it clear that no matter what, we were Cameroonian. These days I make sure people understand where I am from and how to pronounce my name correctly.

I have one of my Liberian Morehouse Moms to thank for that. Identifying as gay or queer is something that I denied at first. I learned to be quiet, and draw as little attention to myself as possible. I was always very reserved, but I think my discomfort with both my African and queer identities heightened that. I first identified as bisexual when I was 14 because at the time I thought I liked girls. I quickly realized that my attraction to them was not the same as my attraction to boys and started identifying as gay when I was Intertwining both my African and gay identities then became a concern for me.

At the time, I had no examples of how to be both at the same time. I overcame my discomfort around being both African and gay as I encountered more and more people who had similar experiences and backgrounds. I first came out to my 3 siblings when I was 15 and I believe they thought they understood what being gay meant, but not what having a gay brother meant.

My mom brings it up every once in a while with the same sentiments as the first conversation. Going away to college took me away from those uneasy moments, and gave me the space and time to grow into myself apart from them. I would say that such rhetoric is a result of colonialism. Ironically, we have learned that being LGBTQ is only a western thing, as a result of white christian teachings. At the end of the day you cannot deny the existence of a whole community of queer and trans African people who have been living and loving since the beginning of time.

These were some of his reflections after returning from his visit. How was your experience going back to Cameroon? Before and while you were there? Before the trip I was somewhat nervous because I was unsure if I had the energy to deal with a really homophobic or transphobic incident. As time went on I became more excited than nervous. While I was there I felt very reassured in my decision. I felt like I was home.

I really enjoyed spending time with family, some of whom I had just met for the first time. Eniola, Nigerian raised in U. Over the course of my life my expression of sexuality has changed and probably will change more, but all of my lived experiences and the frame in which I perceive sexuality will always be queer. I feel the most beautiful in full traditional wear, with gele tied by older African women whom I love and respect.

I consider it original beauty; Black beauty dates way back to when beauty became an attribute. Needless to say I love bright colors, so I wear them year-round. I think by nature of being comfortable in my own skin and dressing in ways that feel natural to me, my African and queer identity. I love wearing traditional clothes or accessories with bright African fabric. Shortly after coming out to my mother, we had a conversation. She was visiting Nigeria and wanted me to come home with her to visit her church.

She hoped that with strong deliverance, I would no longer be queer. She even used the laws and consequences around suspected homosexuality in Nigeria, as justification that she was right to try to rid of my queerness. It was a literal ultimatum. It hurts to think about not feeling safe in returning home, especially with my mother. My relationship with my mother has definitely hurt my relationship with home. My relationship with my family has always been a bit complicated. Eventually I started attending a Baptist church with my aunt, and was so happy to interact with God in a space that supported more of my identities.

In my ideal world nothing of this matters. But since we do live in a world far from ideal, I would be blind to not recognize the problems those people have to deal with, and worse, I would be cruel to not care and feel for them. So, the minimum I can do is to learn, because sometimes, even without intention, the wrong use of words or expression can offend someone, and if I can avoid that, it is better, because I really don't have anything against them.

Again, thanks for the explanation, I'm always grateful to be enlightened in the matters I'm ignorant: And though that might sound weird, maybe ebven dumb probably mostly because I don't find the best words , I hope, that at some day, everybody, like I do today, just does not care. Of course not meaning to oppress sexual tendencies, identities or anything else. Just a world, in wich something like "Oh, I but I like men, not women" just gets a shrug and nothing else.

I hope I brought my point across. I understand your opinion, and as a queer man, I honestly hold the same hope. The unfortunate situation is that a large portion of our society makes my sexuality into a political issue; they politicize my very existence by either trying to deny it or destroy it "You're not gay" or "stop being gay it's evil".

That to me is where Pride comes in as a natural counter; I'm not proud lowercase "p" about something that I really had no choice about; I'm not special or better or anything like that. I'm Proud capital "P" because I won't sit silently while wide swaths of the populace still scream in my face about something that is entirely not their business, and I won't let them sweep me under the rug or call me unnatural, all the other slurs, etc. I get that it can be annoying, but understand that there are people who are being murdered and driven to suicide over this today the suicide rates around gay and esp.

I don't think that's too much to ask. That's not really ignorance. However, it's also not realistic or cognitive of the reality of the world around us where LGBT do have to suffer unequal protections under the law, legislative and social persecution,etc. So while it's a nice sentiment, it's also naive. Cooperation is a two way street, if you just remove all the comments that critique something whether is is valid or not just hurts both sides. Censoring issues like this is what causes people to formulate negative opinions so just shutting out any discussion just makes LGBT people look bad.

Granted, I am not saying a mtg forum is the place for political debates, but the point still stands. I think they removed it because it turned into a discussion about something that has not directly to do with magic.


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If someone wants to discuss their view on the lgbt community it shouldn't be a thread on the frontpage of the mtg subreddit. If a comment was removed, it was removed because it broke a rule, not because of censorship.

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I see any number of comments from players who don't like gays, don't want Wizards to encourage women to play the game, etc. The first rule is 'Be Respectful. And finally, that rule is completely arbitrary. It allows someone to remove nearly any arguementive post they see fit. Your argument is that the rules are so vague that the mods censor at will.

I can't argue against conspiracy theories. Not what OP stated in his follow up thread. Um, not sure why you are linking to the thread we are literally in right now. As other people have commented, the person in question did cross the line. OP may not even have seen the comment that resulted in the content being removed. If you think there is a broad censorship applied to players who complain about posts on LGBT rights within the MTG community, it is certainly not borne out by the postings I see.

I'm having a conversation similar to this one on the first thread atm and thought that one was this one as I replied from my in-box, my bad! Well, I got a temporary ban in this sub for what I thought was an innocent joke about gender stuff, and mods seemed to be taking a pretty hard stance that it shouldn't be discussed here, this is a place for discussion of MTG and that's it. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes.

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What matters is that we learn from our mistakes and try to be more respectful in the future! I very rarely see "innocent jokes about gender" on Reddit but a whole bunch of transphobic even unknowingly so jokes all the time. Mods here are hyper sensitive sometimes. I got banned for saying Narset was possibly autistic.

I wasn't even being an ass about it. I used the quote "Autism Speaks" and that was the entirety of the post. I meant that it was cool that wotc was representing a segment of society. They took it some other way and banned me for a while. Then they didn't respond to my pm asking why and clarifying myself.

They don't come to here to have their minds changed. Heck, its the internet, half of them are doing it judt to rile someone up. I agree with what you're saying here. Not to get overly political, but these things are happening more and more often these days. Political discourse has been shut down and anybody with a dissenting opinion often doesn't get to speak their mind.

To be honest, I held similar views to many of the people you're talking about, but then I fell in love with my girlfriend who is not straight. She taught me a lot about that world that I didn't know, and I taught her about what "outsiders" for lack of a better word felt about the issue. If that conversation hadn't happened because one of us was too scared to talk to somebody with a different opinion, even if it is one that could be hurtful, then we probably wouldn't be together right now. Coincidentally, we also first bonded over Magic! Unfortunately, I haven't had such success with many other people whose ideas differ from mine.

I often forgo talking about some of my more conservative views because I simply get shut down. We all have to start listening to each other. There's no one person who knows everything or is morally superior to everyone else. Without public discourse, nothing can ever get better. For any community to thrive, its members must be willing to talk to each other and receive each other's opinions, regardless of how much you disagree.

Well you get my upvote and comment because you are a critical thinking human, and that's all I wish to see on this sub. A high level of respectful decorum should exist here and if peeps crossed the line its ok with me that they were removed. The line must be drawn and that's what mods do. I don't fault them for trying to keep a lid on things.

I agree that on a platform like this, we are talking about Magic and therefore it's ok for the mods to cut out some of the heavy political talk. However, the comments I've seen from the post so far are far from heavy. They're simply people with differing opinions how Wizards' decision. Isn't that what most threads in the sub are about? There may have been some number of comments that were simply there to be hateful, but as far as the discourse goes, I think it's very healthy for both the community and the individuals involved to partake in it.

I'm with the mods on this one. This is a magic related subreddit and the discussion in that thread turned away from being about magic really really quickly. If someone wants to discuss their political views there are toher subreddits. I like wotc showing support for the lgbt community but this is not a place to share your agreement or disagreement with it.

The thread was about something wotc had done and wotc makes the game so although loose I think it could be considered relevant content. Sure, I don't think the post should have been deleted. Just pointing out that once the post is allowed, it stands to reason that people should be allowed to have opinions on it.

Locking post maintains the OP and any comments that relate to politics instead of the game itself. If your stance is you don't want politics in the sub, the entirety of it should be removed. You understand that "no politics" is an extremely political rule to put into place? It massively hinges on what the enforcers think "is politics" and what is "just everyday life". This subreddit is ultimately about the game, but by association, content regarding the company that makes the game and how they handle making the game is not off topic.

I think every human being on this planet should have the same rights and acceptance as everyone else. I really don't care to see anything regarding LGBT in my magic news, articles, comments, threads, subreddits, etc. I hear about that everywhere else. Every single medium has something being spouted from it, and when I just want to relax with Magic I really don't think it's fair to the community to make this into an issue that we all need to spear-head.

I read the TL DR and it basically was condemning the mods actions for deleting negative comments that aren't related to Magic or Magic products. Obviously you are not going to agree with anything I have said, even though I agree with the stance of equal rights and treatment for all human beings, I don't think that we need to bring that whole mess into our game.

If you so seriously don't want to read it, just don't click the link. I would totally agree with you if there were posts all the time about it, but if there's just one large discussion thread, it shouldn't be too much of a bother.


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I'm not gonna say you're wrong, but that sentiment I dont want to see it here i see it everywhere else is said everywhere else. So if we listened to that we'd not have anything LGBT related except in very niche areas. As for the 'place'. I think it's relevant, at least for the moment. Because it is first and foremost a social game that can be made or broken by how people interact with each other. Where are the threads advocating the kids with learning disabilities or handicaps?

Where are the threads advocating for the people who can't afford to buy cards to play? Where are the threads advocating for the physically-disabled to have card shops accommodate them? None of these are "hot-topics" these don't get bring in mouse-clicks and ad revenue like the latest fad and so we don't see them. LGBT rights are important. So are the rights of everyone. This thread is so atypical of the negative stereotypes that are associated with the LGBT community, it's hard not to be critical. I can't possibly fathom how Magic the Gathering has anything to do with LGBT rights, and to see the politically-charged argument spilling into this subreddit is incredibly disheartening.

Discussion about unwelcoming behavior directed at women, minorities, and LGBT players in the Magic community has nothing to do with politics. It has to do with basic decency and respect for fellow humans. When the abuse stops, the need to discuss it will also stop. If there is substantive disagreement on an issue along political lines in a country that makes up a large portion of this sub's readership, then it's political. Also, remember that to some fundamentalist Christians, conversion therapy for gay people is the compassionate option because it in theory stops them from sinning in that way and allows them to go and live a normal life as they see it.

The other option to them is what? Just resign yourself to the fact that this person will be tormented for eternity for this thing? Saying to them "you're abusing those people" or "you have no respect for your fellow humans" is just not going to compute, because in their eyes that's the opposite of true. They believe different things to be true, so they're going to disagree with you about what actions are right to take, even though you share most of your values.

If we want more people on our side, we have to actually explain ourselves in ways people on the other side will understand and might be convinced by, not talk an alien language at them and tell them to shut up when they don't get it right. I know that it's not always feasible to walk people through to the truth many people are about as willing to convert as we are, after all and that many times the whole discussion is just counterproductive, but there are not very many places where those kinds of discussions can actually take place, so I think it's important to try and be understanding when it looks like one might actually occur.

I brought him up as I said as an example why those views are political. There were people who find his ban injust and people who found his existence as a player an unwelcoming thing towards women. I'm not against any of that and that is not my point. I'm not against sharing that information. Props to you OP, the only way people will ever change is if we engage them. People only learn to hate you more when you wall them off. I really appreciate this post; I wish more people had your mindset. There is way too much us-vs-them type of thinking in the world right now and it's nice to see people who are willing to explain and have a civil discussion about themselves, their views, or other topics in general.

I spoke to him for a bit and after a while he switched it to PMs and I quickly found hes a terrible person who believes that verbal and mental abuse are the victims fault and should be automatically completely immune to any form of verbal assault. He has a complete lack of empathy and sympathy for anyone who isnt a white heterosexual. I'll probably get downvoted, but whatevs. There's a common problem - I can't say this was what was happening in the other thread, but it happens - which is that people who want to promote bigotry, they're smart and they know "If I say X or Y or Z, I'll get identified as a bigot, and I'll get deleted or banned or downvoted.

They'll discuss the "science" behind something a particular "science" of their choosing , or ask why people are getting "special rights" usually code for anti-discrimination laws. Or even more innocuous-seeming stuff than that. None of the words themselves are red flags.


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But what they're questioning, if you break it down, is a core tenet of anti-discrimination, which is why they're questioning it. Have you not OP specifically, but you reading this ever sat down and read, like a white supremacist pamphlet? Like, actually read it? Not just something some idiot put together, but a professionally done thing from an organization that knows what they're doing? I had one handed to me years and years ago by a co-worker. Oh, it sounds great! Perfectly reasonable, at first.

These people have this stuff. Those people have that stuff. It talks about conflicts in society, and the roots of those conflicts. All perfectly reasonable for the first few pages. They don't get into the real nutty racist bullshit until the end, when they're talking about racial purity, and what segregation would do for society, and the allusions to the notion that while races are different, whites are the "better" different. That all comes later. By then, they've gotten the people they were looking for to buy in. These are the people who know what's going on.

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They won't talk about this on TV. The people who promote this stuff - not all of them, but some of them - know what they're doing. They're not actually looking for a discussion, they're looking for an way in for their bullshit. Again, I don't know if that was what was happening in this particular case. But I have definitely seen that go on here in political discussions in the past.

And that's why, even though it doesn't really matter what I think and I would be here even if the mods were lighter on the banhammer on political discussions, I do appreciate that they don't play around on this stuff. Even if it does mean, for instance, the occasional person who's actually not particularly homophobic but still doesn't understand why people "need" to identify their sexuality gets caught up in that as well. There's no differentiating the two when one is deliberately trying to masquerade as the other. Your argument is that small injustices here or there are justified in the name of a bigger Justice.

You are willing to sacrifice someone else's free speech because you agree with the ends being doled out. This is exactly the kind of reasoning that supports tyrannical ideologies and cults. Avoiding the argument, or removing comments, is not winning the argument.

We need to engage in the intellectual arena with good arguments, and stop looking for justifications of censorship however mild the cases might be on an internet forum. I get what you're saying. I used to feel the same way, too. I can't speak for you, but I know that I used to think people were all more-or-less on the same page about wanting the world to be a better place, and that differences of opinion were things that could be discussed and worked through.

But I was way off. There are a number of differences that can indeed be talked through, but also a lot of differences that are about basic assumptions and values. In MTG terms, black and green will never see eye-to-eye, no matter how much they talk it through. I do believe in the government principle of free speech, that voicing an opinion shouldn't be illegal. But I don't believe in speech-without-consequences which a lot of people who cry "free speech" in this day and age seem to mean.

This is a big kid world, and you gotta wear your big kid pants. If you - not you , but the proverbial "you" - want to say racist shit, you can, and there will probably be consequences. And if you want to act like a racist while not being "an actual racist", well, you may be left wondering why there were consequences, but hopefully you can figure it out. I'm far less tyrannical than you give me credit for.

I just see right through some stuff, and am not that interested in tolerating hate. I think you underestimate the extent to which many people really do value free speech. It is a foundational value of our society. I agree there might be consequences, sure Violent responses to words? We aren't talking about yelling fire in a crowded theater. It seems as if you think the so-called consequences are justified because "you don't tolerate hate".

Almost like a thinly veiled threat. Just as I value gun ownership. To be frank, I'm an adult, and I don't need mommy government coming in and telling me I can't do something because I might hurt myself doing it provided, of course, that what I'm doing is not hurting others in a way that demands intervention. But part of being an adult and having that freedom is responsibility which is another word for "consequences" if I choose to act like an idiot and exercise my freedoms in a self-damaging way. I want it that way. I want to be responsible for myself, for knowing what hate is, and why it's hateful which is actually a small part of a larger thing called "empathizing with others whose experiences are different than yours".

There are indeed a lot of people out there who are not big on personal responsibility in general, so I kinda get where this "free speech means speech without consequences" thing is coming from, even if I think it's totally misguided. Dare I say, if you - again, not you , but the proverbial "you" - if you stop and think about the words coming out of your mouth and what they say about you, it turns out it's not actually that hard.

I was never a bigot, per se, but I used to say words and phrases that later on, when I thought about what these things said about me and my values, I realized they were pretty disrespectful and inappropriate, and I stopped saying them. I stopped saying something was "gay" when I meant "bad," that sort of thing. Now, some people are in situations where their brain just isn't wired that way, and I understand that. Humans are very complicated and full of exceptions. But a lot more people don't want to be responsible for their words because they are actually just lazy about responsibility in general EDIT: And they don't see why they should be concerned with whether their speech is hateful to some other group , not because they can't do it.

And they're free to not see the point, but, again, your actions have consequences, and I'm not going to spare you from them if I in fact would prefer those actions to stop. I do think you're reading a bit too much into my use of the word "consequences. I'm going to backpedal just a little on the subject of peoples' motivation when they want "free speech without consequences". That was too broad of a brush. But there are also people who believe in purity of discussion, and that you can never come to the "correct" philosophical conclusions if certain subjects are off the table.

I'm really not trying to write a treatise on the subject tonight, so I'll simply acknowledge that that perspective exists and say: Not everyone is as idealistic as you. As I said in the original post, hatemongers use any "in" they can get, they cloud their stuff however it needs to be clouded to get past the door. There's also the question of whether you are as objective and clear-headed as you think you are.

People like old T-Woo read Mein Kampf and get lost in analyzing that perspective. When you give hate speech equal intellectual treatment, you're playing with fire. Hey, have an upvote for being a person who is willing to explain and reason through their opinions for a stranger. Thanks for the clarification, I think consequences is not the same thing as responsibility in this context. Consequences sounds like events happening as a result of or caused by a speech act, whereas responsibility has more to do with the understanding and acceptance of potential harm or consequences that might occur as a result of a speech act.

It sounded to me as if you were saying "Well, say racist stuff if you want, but don't come crawling to me when the consequences hit you in the face because thats justifiably what happens. Also, just because we extend free speech to those we disagree with, I don't think that is the same as "tolerating hate". It is allowing it on principled grounds. That means we have a responsibility to speak up and have rock solid argumentation.

Banning from an internet forum is shirking this responsibility. I come down on the other side of this discussion, but I appreciate greatly your laying out your position in such a calm, non-reactionary, clear and clearly-explained way. As a result my mind was changed somewhat by your comments.

For what it's worth, I don't always agree with the people on "my side" on this stuff either. I agree with me , obviously, but I don't subscribe to any party lines. It turns out this "right" and "wrong" stuff can get pretty complex when you get down to the nitty gritty of it. The idea that hate speech deserves any sort of respect is utterly asinine and isn't even worthy of discussion.

It doesn't deserve respect, but it does deserve the same protections given to any other speech. The Supreme Court was rather emphatic on the subject just this week. A law that can be directed against speech found offensive to some portion of the public can be turned against minority and dissenting views to the detriment of all. Instead, our reliance must be on the substantial safeguards of free and open discussion in a democratic society. Tam, 19 June quote on p What you are saying honestly sounds a bit crazy. Either someone is a bigot or they are not. You can't go looking for 'secret bigots' under every rock.

I'm surprised by how acceptable it is to continue to celebrate a specific sexuality outside the context of general civil rights. I feel like originally gay pride parades were important because they were a symbol to a somewhat repressed America that there was no shame in being gay, and that people didn't need to remain closeted.

The only reason i think it is strange now is because I don't think there is really that general anti-gay sentiment there used to be, and people that are openly anti gay are identified as obvious bigots. So really at this point I am of the opinion that while I don't find gay pride parades offensive, I am certainly surprised by their necessity, at least in the spirit they were originally intended.

I think a lot of people view it now like "you won the war, why keep going? I know a lot of people will disagree with me and potentially downvote me into oblivion, but I don't think it's particularly brave for a company to tweet about gay pride at this point. From the conversations I've had with several LGBTQ people on this topic, I can assure you that although publicly expressed homophobia is indeed generally frowned upon, private homophobia is still rife.

Much discrimination is subtle, and if you're not the target of it then you wouldn't know it's there. I'm a straight male and have gay friends. My group of friends without gay friends exhibit homophobic jokes or slurs that I have to tell them to chill. The fact that it's frowned upon to publicly express anti-gay sentiments makes it harder to realize it still exists.

Private homophobia is very well alive and just because you don't see it often as it used to be doesn't mean it's not there. The war has barely started. Then you look at how many states and governments are anti-trans, too. You look privately, and kids are still being kicked out of their homes for being LGBT. Hell, my own dad told me he would never let me in the house with a male partner as long as he lived.

The LGBT community has, without a doubt, not won the war. We won a single battle: Same-sex marriage wasn't legal throughout the entire United States until two years ago. The party of Christian supremacy and denying LGBT people basic rights and protections is currently in power in every branch of the federal government. You'll forgive people for not celebrating the war they supposedly won and continuing to hold Pride events and praise support from companies when large segments of society make it clear that they despise the existence of LGBT people.

The reason Pride is important is because - historically - ethnic, sexual and social minorities are the first to lose their rights when populist politicians decide to use a scapegoat to advance their own agenda. We like to tell ourselves that this can't happen in this day and age, but we only know that through constant awareness that passes on from generation to generation. As a citizen on the European continent it is deeply rooted in us that discrimination of minorities can lead some really awful shit, since some people of my great grandparents generation can still remember how it felt when the neighbour was "taken away" for being different during World War 2.

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It's the same reason why you will find a lot of people even in conservative groups in Europe who are advocates of gay rights and openly feminists. However a new generation of far-right politicians have discovered that there are votes to be had in "asking questions" about the necessity of Pride, rights to sexual minorities etc. A lot of people simply don't care about gay rights, because they dont care about gays being gay. However people vote for the far right due to other concerns, and the far right, who might have ideological issues with gay people, who will then abolish their rights - as seen in Poland and Russia for example - where years of work to get gays accepted has been ruined by politicians who use homosexuality as a negative factor in order to advance their own "moral superiority".

That's why we need Pride and the debates it brings. Because without it, ppl would just vote for anti-gay ppl without even knowing it. I can understand why people think this; I don't go to Pride even if it is supposed to be for people like me. But when you think about the struggles of people in the queer community other than rich white dudes who can marry each other now, it feels less like a won war. When you see people like Trump and Pence still trying to walk back the changes, it feels less like the war is over. And when you still have to justify every time you raise your sexuality as "bringing politics into everything", even when I avoid trying to do so whenever possible pretty much exactly to avoid that reaction, sometimes it feels like there still needs to be a fight.

I just want people to not care about who I'm in a relationship with, the same as you do.

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But that doesn't look the same to me as it might to you. Just over a year ago a gunman specifically murdered people at a gay nightclub in Orlando, and several states North Carolina stands out but is not alone have recently passed or are attempting to pass actively anti-LGBT legislation. Saying "the war is won" is like saying the war against racist treatment of African-Americans was won after Brown v Board of Education. If your US history is rusty, three years later the Little Rock Nine had to be escorted into their classrooms by the United States Army after the governor of Arkansas sent his National Guard detachment to bar them from the school.

That there are people out there who specifically want to kill us? There are a lot of spaces where homophobia rears its head - I'm a gay teenager in boy scouts and I get quite a bit. I don't mind or anything but it's present. I think that even though an opinion being gay isn't a problem is popular, it still isn't shared by everyone. Pride parades are a continued way to change people's perspectives like OP's parents, as one example.

Do you guys remember when Emma Handy made that awesome post not that long ago? Was a graveyard of banned people and deleted post. I got banned that day even though my post wasn't removed and I was agreeing and praising Emma. A line needs to be drawn in the sand absolutely--but said line can't be drawn so far away that any meaningful discourse can't take place when the topic, of course, permits.

Most everyone I play with could care less. I think most everyone I play with doesn't like when stuff gets shoved down our throats.

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