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Reaching for the stars: a brief history of sci-fi space travel

Get a refund for your hat? Apologize to the Muslim in your building who turned out to be something called "a Sikh"? There are no consequences for anything, and your garbage brain can easily convince itself the media was lying. Plus, history eventually proves all racists to be right about daughter-killing immigrants, which because of Sharia law is perfectly legal in your Muslim neighbor's apartment. And with those simple mental gymnastics, boom, America is great again.

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Neuroscientists call this type of nimble stupidity "cognitive dissonance," but I'm not a neuroscientist. I'm a man who types things like "a shrieking Guy Fieri trying to justify an all-rib diet to his own hickory-smoked diarrhea. Man invented the scientific method years ago, when Galileo thought to sometimes ask, "What if we're wrong about this? So try to remember this: Every single time you're percent convinced you're right, you're dumber than a 17th-century leech farmer or an eight-year-old C student.

Even if you turn out to be right. You hopeless, self-brainwashing diarrhea fountain salesman. Not all Determined Fools have minds elastic enough for cognitive dissonance. In order to hang onto their harmful, evil, self-destructive, or otherwise dumbass beliefs, some have to resort to false equivalencies. Like when Trump was asked how he feels about Putin being a killer, and he said, "So what?

Big Dumb Objects: science fiction's most mysterious MacGuffins | Books | The Guardian

Other people are killers too! There are other things wrong in the world besides murder and Nazis. For example, your mother's footjob game.

And sure , for every ten Gamergaters threatening to kill a girl for abiding a black Human Torch, there is a Twitter warrior who chose to support feminism with an overly harsh meme. But sanctimonious heroism isn't anything like being a Nazi. And nothing any Democrat will ever do is similar to bragging about grabbing pussies while you're married to a model you bought from Slovenia.

If you're confused, always remember: When two things are described with different words and have different meanings, they aren't the same. You don't get to lie and murder and be Kenyan just because Obama does it too. When your world is built on top of something as flaky as religion or politics, it's exhausting. You have to defend nonsense all day because you don't know which crack in your foundation will require you to rebuild your entire belief system.

That's a ton of work. I still convince myself electronic music is fun because it's easier than developing rhythm. People still chase children with knives because it's faster than explaining why they became a clown.

The 5 Stupidest People On The Planet (Are All Donald Trump)

But if your beliefs are so flimsy that they shatter as soon as you admit a mistake, let them shatter. You can rebuild a far superior personality and system of values with a single episode of Super Friends. What if I told you that television shows were dangerous? Someone might say, "That's compelling Robocorrelation, but that data alone does not suggest Robocausation. You're smart enough to spot a technicality, but too dumb to know everyone else did too and it was light years away from the point. You're the kind of person who tells your doctor, "Um, it's Chief Chirpa?

Maybe you should have gone to a non-stupid medical school. The nice thing about being a Technical Genius is that it feels like proof you're smarter than everyone. Look at it like this: You are the only one in the history of Koala Times Bus Tours to contract syphilis from a koala bite. You might be embarrassed, but at least you aren't like those other fools screaming "Don't touch the koala bears! I mean, if koalas were actual bears , your whole face would be missing, not still here and covered in pulsing chancres. Technical Geniuses reach maximum annoying when they decide that pointing out technicalities is a sense of humor.

For instance, if you announced, "My wife is pregnant and we're having a boy," a Technical Genius might quip, "Well, technically only women can have babies. Unless you count the Chief Chirpa action figure currently breaching my anus -- um, which you should, since it is the dictionary definition. This idiot with no dictionary is watching me shit out a Chief Chirpa, and he doesn't even know which gender gives birth!

Technical Geniuses have such a rigid understanding of the rules of language that they miss the meaning behind words. They mistake sarcasm for a mistake that needs correcting. Their idea of wordplay is assuming you meant the wrong homonym, which makes them both a walking Family Circus cartoon and the person condescendingly explaining to the Family Circus characters how "cool" may sometimes refer to "tubular" instead of temperature.

And god help you if you get into a written discussion with them, as the tiniest typo can turn even the most important debate into a fourth-grade grammar lesson. They'd rather tell you that "non whites" should have a hyphen rather than agree that killing them is wrong. For the most part, the Technical Genius just derails conversations with unlikeability.

But their fierce misunderstanding of unspoken rules can lead to problems way more serious. You know what happens when you can't see past the immediate and literal meaning of words? Well, I'll show you. I'm only two sentences into my life as a Technical Genius, and I've already talked myself into racism. All it took was the limited observation skills of a bad '90s standup routine with the deliberate cultural ignorance of a bad '90s standup routine.

Remember when that panty-dropper at Google got fired for writing, word-for-word, how women aren't good at robots because of their emotions and milk-squirting nipples? That guy was absolutely a Technical Genius. Men and women are different, sure, but if you're either of those things, you already knew that. You also might know how, almost always, these differences aren't worth mentioning and vary from person to person.

Yes, a woman is a bad hire if you need someone to stand next to a wolf for 29 days without bleeding. But even as someone who's not a wolf scientist, I can think of a few workarounds: See, this is how a healthy mind operates -- it solves problems, asks questions, and keeps ladies safe from crotch-biting predators because it's the right thing to do. A Technical Genius makes a short-sighted, clumsy observation and acts like they put all reason in checkmate.

You know who could explain this better than me? The outrageously bad con man the worst 20 percent of our population voted into the White House. This is a classic example of a Technical Genius. To this dumbshit, it seems like he's turned the tables on the entire concept of racial oppression. He raises the same point made by most clueless fucks on their first day of imaginary struggle: Isn't that the REAL persecution? It's the kind of childlike question you might ask the Star Trek crew if you're a checkerboarded alien who knows nothing of their world's Ray Sizzum. There are different rules, unspoken or not, for every caste, race, and gender.

You have to play some pretty intense make-believe to say you don't know that. And only the dimmest, pussiest of white people invent their own oppression, like not being allowed to say "Merry Christmas" or "the N-word. The things Technical Geniuses say are often so frustratingly wrong but also "not wrong" that they act as traps. Your every instinct is to add context to them, but don't -- you will only become them. Look again at our evil president's "Black-ish" tweet. You might feel the urge to correct the five grammatical mistakes he made in its three sentences, but any decent person should feel compelled as fuck to explain just the most basic, introductory concepts of race to him.

This grown man thinks that the unfairness of having a show called Black-ish when there's not one called "Whiteish" is "racism at highest level. You're the one saying dumb, obvious shit now. Sometimes a stupid person starts to figure out that their brain doesn't work as well as everyone else's.

Maybe they looked around their home and realized they only owned books by Ann Coulter on how to identify different Asians by which part of the human they eat. Or maybe they watch The Big Bang Theory , which for eight seasons has just been Jim Parsons staring directly into a camera and repeating "You are an idiot ape. You are a mindless sack of tepid water. Discovering your own intellectual shortcomings is terrifying, especially for the insecure. So some of them create a new reality, one with rules carefully constructed to make them brilliant.

The disorder starts simply enough. Your friend tells you that birthday meals are free at any restaurant if you tell them you're a registered sex offender. Later, Yahoo Answers tells you that impersonating a sex offender is not technically a crime. Later still, in jail, you decide you hate being tricked. Some can be fascinating to fans, but alienating — pun intended — to the majority of readers, for whom clinical descriptions of alien architecture rate low on the list of earthly pleasures.

Topics Science fiction books Damien Walter's weird things. Order by newest oldest recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. Loading comments… Trouble loading? It doesn't belong in this list. Jun 22, What a really, really sad lot this "list" is. May 14, Something tells me a lot of us didn't get Animal Farm or Slaughterhouse-Five.

Big Dumb Objects: science fiction's most mysterious MacGuffins

I swear, sometimes this site makes me want to put my computer into a blender. Aug 17, Jan 08, And this is why I don't go to Goodreads for any kind of literary insight. Started off nicely at the top of the list with Twilight, but then ya'll had to go and make absolute fools of yourselves, by clumping literary masterpieces with contemporary pieces of printed vomit. This is why we can't have nice things. Apr 01, I most certainly respect people's opinions regarding anything, however I am confused on a lot of the books present on this list.

Why the Little Prince? You may not like a story, but many times they have deeper meanings then simply appealing to audiences Animal Farm for example. Labeling books like these "dumb" seems as though it is a attempt to be "different" or "hipster". Even though if you don't like these books, don't rate them "dumb". Search for a book to add a reference. We take abuse seriously in our discussion boards.

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Incorrect Book The list contains an incorrect book please specify the title of the book. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. Twilight Twilight, 1 by Stephenie Meyer 3. Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars. My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie 3. Want to Read saving… Error rating book. Breaking Dawn Twilight, 4 by Stephenie Meyer 3.

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